For years I’ve been saying to people that I’m crazy, and need professional help. Most people didn’t believe me. But now someone else is suggesting such things.

Of course, I’ve been thinking about why I’d need such help…. and I probably do, but I think that the reason for needing it is different than the reason that the other person is suggesting. They seem to think that my recent issues with depression are to do with the issues I had with support raising last year.

I think it’s just female problems…. as always.

Maybe the other issues are contributing to the problems, but to me it seems that the core is always my issues with girls – or more corectly their issues with me. If this is the core issue, then I don’t see how talking to some professional is going to make girls not hate me. Or not “like me as a friend” which seems to amount to the same thing in practical terms. Plus the whole thing seems to amount to selling snake oil to me.

So I thought back over my issues with girls, and realised that all but one of my infatuations were “caused” by others. By caused I mean that someone made a suggestion that made me think in that way, or someone reckoned I was interested (but I wasn’t) or something like that. Which means all those crushes were just me exploring someone elses idea.

Of course that leaves the one that wasn’t caused by others, and was all my own fault. And I’ve seen her aboot once a week recently, and every time I see her I get all angry and/or depressed or spend the rest of the day trying to ignore her. This is making the problem worse…. especially since I just pretend she doesn’t exist and don’t interact with her.

The only way I can see the whole professional help thing helping is if I get some drugs, or some Officespace style hypnotherapy.