Reposted from a facebook note.

1. What’s the worst trouble you have ever been in?
Threat of a defamation lawsuit if I didn’t take down that website.

2. What’s the funniest thing you have ever seen?
I’d tell you, but I think it violates the interdimensional prime directive. I’m not sure though, Wormhole Ethics and Practice was never my strongest subject.

3. Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Yeah. But only because I’ve run out of room to bury the bodies in my backyard after the toughening of the laws because of the war on terror made it too hard to get enough strong acid to dispose of them more discreetly.

4. What’s your porn name? (Take the name of the first pet you had and pair it with the name of the first street you lived on.)
Tiger Douglas. But I was only in a few solo scenes.

5. What was the worst job you ever had?
Telemarketing, where I only lasted 3 days…. Or preaching the gospel, but that is more of a retroactive worst.

6. Have you ever been bitchslapped?
No, although I have been hit with other appendages.

7. Who do you wish would just drop dead?
My legal team has advised me that to answer this question may incriminate me.

8. Do you fell guilty taking a sickie?
No. I can’t take sickies. Even when I’m sick I have to keep working because I’m awesome.

9. Ever found yourself in a situation that could be described as “surreal?”
There was that one time when I was walking down the secretariat when I came across a rasper who proceeded to pretypify my appassionato algology. It was quite the postbursal ageusia. Wibble.

10. What’s your favourite thing to say when someone pisses you off?
Fuck you you fucking fuck.

11. Ever accidentally done something against your own morals, but decided not to say anything because you were so proud that you’d gotten away with it?
No. It is impossible by definition for me to do something against my own morals. You might as well ask me to microwave a burrito so hot that I can’t eat it.

12. Who did you fear more growing up – mum or dad?
Both.

13. What’s the closest you have come to your own death?
The time I tried to commit suicide by alcohol poisoning. My body woke itself up and proceeded to pump its own stomach at the last minute to avoid death. It also managed to do this on my favourite flannel shirt, making it much less wearable.

14. Ever done something illegal just to see whether you could get away with it?
No. Everything I do illegally is for purely personal gain. Except for that time I installed a puppet government. That was just because I needed something to do over the summer break and I only had dialup.

15. Have you ever thrown up on a stranger?
Does their shoes count?

16. Ever said something that you have immediately wished you could take back?
No. Even the worst words are worth it for the lulz. At least in hindsight.

17. Ever done something that you wished you could immediately take back?
Yes. That thing with the time machine, but that kind of took itself back as the temporal paradox resolved itself. Although the platypus was the never the same.

18. What’s your favourite type of cheese?
The kind you get in postmodern self-aware indie zombie flicks. Or vintage cheddar.

19. Who’s your favourite dead person?
Hitler.

20. If you won lotto, what would be the first thing you would do?
Pay off that intergalactic mercenary federation for their help with that rogue AI I created before being asked to leave the Computer Science program.